I listened to this subject being discussed on the sidelines last weekend. Opinions were divided! So I went to the Georgia Soccer Association in the USA for this extract form there "Club Player Development Manual". http://www.gasoccer.org/secondary.aspx?id=758&coll_id=21
I reckon they have got it right.
"It is important to note that, regardless of their specific philosophy, youth clubs have a universally expected duty to do what is in the best interest of the individual player and to do its best to allow all the players to enjoy their experience with soccer. Too often, club officers and coaches adopt team building concepts’ that are borrowed from the professional game even though they are not appropriate for youth. The main difference between youth play and professional play is the concept of “who comes first – the player or the team?”.
At the professional level, the team obviously comes first. The professional team has a clear hierarchy of starters and ‘bench warmers’ and squad players, etc. The subs are paid handsomely to sit on the bench and be called upon if and when needed. Everyone on the professional team is expected to put the team first and to sacrifice himself for the sake of the team. The result is all that matters at the pro level.
But at the youth level, the player must come first!! Every decision made by the club and the coach should be in the best interest of the individual players. Examples:
1) A youth player should not be kept in goal against her wishes just because she is the best keeper and ‘the team needs her’ to win the game.
2) Coaches should not hold on to good players at a lower playing level just to help the team to win games. The better player should be allowed to move up to the next level in order to help him reach his potential, even if it means that the team he leaves behind will be weakened.
3) Every player must play in every game, not left to sit on the bench for the entire game because the team must win.
4) When players are invited to play for the Regional or National Team, their club coaches should allow them to go even if there is a conflict with a club activity. It’s not fair to the players to ask them to give up such opportunities in the name of team loyalty. The team is there to serve the player’s ambition, not the other way around.
Some adults will argue that soccer is a team game and, therefore, team building concepts such as sacrifice and ‘do what’s best for the team’ should be taught to our kids. Indeed, some team building concepts are appropriate to youth play. The concepts of cooperation between teammates, helping teammates, learning to trust others, and being respectful of teammates are certainly team building concepts that should be introduced to young players. But the concept of ‘sacrifice for the team’ is not appropriate for youth sport.
We cannot in all good conscience ask young players to sacrifice their future potential just to bolster the team’s ‘win’ column. We cannot deny young players the enjoyment of playing, since soccer is their leisure activity, and every player deserves to play."